“Intimacy” and “sex” are not synonyms. True, sex does require a certain amount of intimate touching but it sure as heck doesn’t require emotional intimacy—ask anyone who’s had a one-night stand or is in a relationship where afterplay is reaching for the TV remote. You’ll get no argument from me that sex is a blast and an important part of a romantic relationship but it’s no-way enough to long-haul sustain the relationship. For that you need emotional intimacy.

Emotional intimacy is about being connected in heart, mind and spirit. It’s that intangible yet strongly felt bond that becomes your strength when you feel weak, your courage when you are scared, and your confidence when you feel doubt. You’ve got it when you know to a drop-dead certainty your sweetheart has your back, when you can spill your guts without fear of rejection or ridicule, and when you feel safe being warts-and-all you. And, guess what? When you’ve got emotional intimacy, there’s a darned good chance you’ll have a better sex life, too.

We all crave emotional intimacy with our sweetheart. We’re built that way. In his book, Soul Cravings, Erwin Raphael McManus said it eloquently: “We are most alive when we find it, most devastated when we lose it, most empty when we give up on it, most inhuman when we betray it, and most passionate when we pursue it.”

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that the elements of emotional intimacy are trust, respect, honesty, and vulnerability. You already know that. But the human being is a complex creature. Like snowflakes, we’re all the same and yet no two of us is alike. That’s why we all need a little help blending lives and creating “we” out of “you” and “me.”

Emotional intimacy comes with laser beam focus on being, doing, and saying those things that build and sustain it. That’s exactly what my book, Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy, shows you how to do. Having an emotionally intimate relationship doesn’t require hard work. Honest. Fact is, nothing is more fun or more satisfying than building emotional intimacy. You just need the right tools and the right information.

Contact me with your questions or to arrange private coaching, read more about improving intimacy, subscribe to my Intimacy Blog, or buy my book Frequent Foreplay Miles to build rock solid emotional intimacy and improve your relationship—and even your sex life!