I have years of conflict resolution under my belt. In my prior life, as an estate attorney, I watched families nearly come to blows over who would get the beaten-up old armoire, and I’ve seen others peacefully divide diamonds and fortunes. Those who learned how to handle day-to-day conflicts are definitely better at the really big issues that life inevitably throws at all of us.
Handling conflict with ease is a skill worth developing,… Read the rest
Making a list and checking it twice. Sadly, most of the lists we create aren’t the type that end in a pile of gifts wrapped in silver and gold. When it comes to our relationship, they’re usually honey-do lists, or worse, a long mental list of grudges and annoyances we carry around like a bag of rocks. And to make matters worse, as most of us know, it’s really easy to fall into a… Read the rest
Today is a great day for a last minute play-hooky-date with your sweetie, to hit the snooze button and snuggle under the blanket. Too late? Already at work when you stole the three minutes to read this? Even better. You can plan to “steal” tomorrow and make it special with a little prep that you can do tonight. Time with your honey to do nothing but enjoy each other, even in the silences—well, it… Read the rest
The enemy of a great relationship is complacency. It begins so innocently. You forget how attractive, funny or caring your honey is because you’re together all the time. You get wrapped up in your “stuff” and forget to do the little, day-to-day things that make your sweetheart aware of your love. You forget how good life feels because you picked someone amazing and the lottery win of being picked back. Before you know… Read the rest
I’ve been thinking a lot about dating and how a relationship is so ooh-la-la hot those first few months we’re in them. You know what I mean, that can’t-live-without-you-another-second obsession and the please-stop-talking-and-kiss-me passion. Recent research says that some of those reactions are totally beyond our control. We call it chemistry. Like our heartbeat, simply existing without our input, there’s a release of hormones that create the “falling” in love sensation. Okay, maybe we… Read the rest
I recently met a friend for coffee. She shared that she’d been mad at her husband for a year. A year??? Wow. It made me sad to think someone could be angry for so long and it also made me think about kissing and making up. All couples have arguments. Hubby Dale and I are no exception. We get irritated with each other but it doesn’t last long. We enjoy each… Read the rest
Date night. You know it’s good for your relationship. You want to. You mean to. But, darn it, you’re busy with a house to run, bills to pay, bosses to please, projects to complete, kids to care for—and on and on. Add the unexpected—sick kids, car problems, leaking pipes—and it’s hard to find the time to even grab a cup of coffee together. But think of it this way: that laundry list of responsibilities… Read the rest
Eat your broccoli. It’s good for you.
Take your cod liver oil. It’s good for you.
Exercise daily. It’s good for you.
Have sex. It’s good for you.
Huh? Broccoli, cod liver oil, exercise and sex are all in the same do-it-cuz-it’s-good-for-you category. Don’t you think that argument (and we’ve heard a lot of it lately) makes having sex sound like something you do while holding your nose? Something you… Read the rest
It’s here! Another new year! With the effortless flick of a clock’s hand, as if by magic, we start anew. Ah, if only it was as easy as waving a magic wand to start anew in other ways. A flick of the wrist and poof! All our difficulties would disappear If only!
In relationships it sometimes feels like the opposite of this is true. When issues arise (as they do in every relationship), they… Read the rest
Yes, the holidays are here. It’s December 23rd – the work day is ending early, the final bows are getting tied and the fruitcakes are being boxed to regift. Hah!
If your holiday haze is getting thicker and heavier, here’s a few ways release the ho hum and bring back the wow! For this tool to work, you’ll need your holiday honey.
1. Jingle his (or her) bells. (I bet… Read the rest
© Copyright 2011 Frequent Foreplay Miles - Shela Dean — Relationship Coach, Speaker & Best-Selling Author