"Shela's ideas are a great way to re-ignite a relationship and get couples communicating. If you've ever been in a relationship, you'll get right away what she's talking about. You'll also appreciate the opportunity to think again about what really matters to you and to learn what matters most to the person you love. I know I did, and I've been married over 30 years."
There are plenty of so-called truisms out there, all designed to make us “okay” with things that aren’t “okay.” For example, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” We all know that’s baloney. Words can hurt like hell.
And how about this one: “What you don’t know can’t hurt you.” This truism has been readily debunked by the medical profession. Simply put, if you don’t know your tapioca pudding is laced with rat poison,… Read the rest
It was in grade school math that I first learned about reducing fractions to their lowest common denominator. I hated math. Still do. But, I’ve learned that “reducing to the lowest common denominator” is a great term for describing how, in human interaction, we “sink” to the most basic, least sophisticated level of those with whom we are engaging. If you’ve ever argued with a child, you know what I mean. Before you realize it, you’re on that kid’s level.… Read the rest
One of the coolest things about being in a committed relationship is having someone to grow old with, someone with whom you share so many memories that sitting in the rockers on the porch won’t be boring at all, you’ll have so much to talk about. Equally as cool is how, if you open your mind and heart, your sweetheart can teach you things you might not otherwise ever learn, and can even help you be a better person.
In the hustle and bustle of daily life, there are random moments of intimacy that are too often missed. Watch for them. Savor them. Example: Lately, I’ve been engrossed with writing book #2 (which is why I’ve been missing in action the last few weeks) and hubby Dale has been engrossed in his YMCA garden project. Both of us tend to be like a dog with a bone when we’ve got a big project happening—so focused on what we’re doing… Read the rest
You’ve no doubt experienced the disappointment of giving a gift that’s met with a lukewarm reception. Gift giving can be treacherous ground but you’ll have far greater success and pick up tons of Frequent Foreplay Miles if, before you whip out your credit card, you ask yourself these questions:
Does your sweetheart prefer things or experiences? I could surprise my sweetheart with a Porsche and he’d say, “Why? I already have a car.” Never mind that his car is old… Read the rest
Remember when you and your sweetheart first met? You counted the minutes until you saw him again. You called just to hear her sweet voice. The air was alive with the snap, crackle & pop of sexual energy. You couldn’t get enough of each other and you were always on your best behavior. It was easy to be playful.
Then, you settled into a routine and began to share everyday life. Being on best behavior is like holding in your… Read the rest
Scorekeeping. You’ve been told it’s death to your relationship but I’m going to give you three reasons why, when done right, it’s good for your relationship.
1. It’s a human nature “lemon” so you might as well make lemonade. Mother Teresa and Gandhi aside, we all keep score. It’s human nature to notice if your sweetheart has AGAIN “forgotten” to call, left dirty dishes in the sink, embarrassed you, hurt your feelings, broken a promise, “won” the argument, or bestowed… Read the rest
Do an Amazon search on “self-improvement” or “self-help” and you’ll get a long, long list of books to choose from. There are books on how to have better communication, better sex, more intimacy, fair fights, more fun, less conflict, a more fulfilling life, more self-confidence, more self-esteem, and so on and so on.
What you won’t find is a book based on the premise that you’re perfect but your sweetheart needs a complete overhaul and would be much happier and… Read the rest
In 1975 Paul Simon released his hit song “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.” I recently looked up the lyrics and discovered something I’d failed to notice in 1975 when I was hummin’ along. The song is about a woman giving a man advice on how to extricate himself from his current relationship. The song ends with said woman kissing him and suggesting that they sleep on it, a suggestion which leads him to conclude that she’s probably right—there must… Read the rest
Elizabeth Gilbert (“Liz”), bestselling author of Eat, Love, Pray recently released her latest book, Committed, A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has ever been, is thinking about being, or currently is, in a committed relationship.
It’s a great read, filled with oodles of food for thought. Liz, after a bitter divorce, has sworn off marriage forever. She meets and falls in love with Felipe, a Brazilian living in Indonesia. He too… Read the rest
There are plenty of so-called truisms out there, all designed to make us “okay” with things that aren’t “okay.” For example, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” We all know that’s baloney. Words can hurt like hell.
