Flyin' Right with your Foreplay Navigator

Have you ever contemplated your relationship and wondered, “If we’re so made for each other, how come we so often butt head, step on each other’s toes, and get our wires crossed?”  Why are there so many opportunities for two perfectly sane human beings to become insanely set in their own ideas of what’s right and what’s not? I think it’s because each of us comes to a relationship with a complex set of preferences, opinions, priorities, standards, points of view, and sensitivities, all shaped by our DNA, upbringing, education, life’s experience, religious or philosophical training, culture, and self-perception–what I call our Foreplay Navigator.

Our Foreplay Navigators may overlap in fundamental ways or we wouldn’t be a couple in the first place, but think of the zillions of way in which they differ.  You may agree on going out to dinner, but argue over Mexican or Chinese. You may agree on having a baby but disagree on whether it should be raised Jewish or Baptist. Getting a pet may seem like a good idea, but agreeing on Rex or Fluffy, long or short hair, may require divine intervention

You get in trouble because you don’t know that according to your sweetheart’s Foreplay Navigator it’s an act of treason to dog-ear the pages of a book or to jump on the punch line of your partner’s joke, or that having coffee with an ex who blew into town is tantamount to cheating, or that using the pet name “Snookie” in front of friends is a violation of privacy, or that it’s insufficient to acknowledge a special occasion with a card unaccompanied by a gift.

The secret to flyin’ right is knowing your sweetheart’s Foreplay Navigator and acting accordingly.  I know.  That’s easier said than done.  But it’s not impossible.