Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy

Keep Score and Keep Your Marriage Happy

Would you be surprised to hear me say that keeping score can keep your marriage happy and strong?  That may fly in the face of what relationship gurus have been spouting since Eve met Adam, but show me a sweetheart who hasn’t said, “You owe me one,” or “You just lost a few points,” and I’ll show you a sweetheart who’s stopped paying attention.  I say it’s time to stop fighting human nature.  I say let’s do it in a way that makes our relationship stronger.

Dale and I keep our marriage strong and our point scores high by accumulating what we call Frequent Foreplay Miles™.  It all started over morning coffee and cinnamon toast ten years ago.  Dale  was always late, and it always annoyed me. I had gently suggested, then nagged, to no avail. On that day I had an inspiration: I would put it in a context he would understand: sex! I smiled sweetly, pointed my butter knife at him for emphasis, and said, “Sweetheart, there’s something you need to know about being in relationship. Foreplay is all day, every day, 24/7. It includes anything and everything that affects how I feel about you. So you should consider racking up Frequent Foreplay Miles by being on time. The more miles you rack up, the more ‘in the mood’ I’ll be.”

He laughed—but he got the idea. In his sexual self-interest he pledged to become the on-time guy. After breakfast, he earned Frequent Foreplay Miles by wiping the table free of toast crumbs without dropping a single crumb on the floor. I earned mine by ironing his shirt. Our good-bye kiss was especially sweet. Sparks flew that night, and in the afterglow we acknowledged that the simple idea expressed in our morning’s playful exchange had legs. It became our goal to bank as many and lose as few Frequent Foreplay Miles as possible.

There’s a lot more to it than this but the basic concept is simple: Frequent Foreplay Miles are awarded when you make your sweetheart happy. They are deducted when your behavior doesn’t measure up. The higher your balance, the happier and stronger your marriage. Makes sense, right? It’s worked for us and it can work for you, too.