Do you sometimes wonder what happened to that randy, can’t-get-enough couple you used to be? You know, before the fatigue of everyday life set in and before the kids arrived. Back when you could have the week from hell and still strap on your dancin’ shoes and, after a great night out, have energy for sex. If you just sighed nostalgically, I get it. I understand how easy it is to let the demands of everyday life take precedence over romance. I know how easy it is to find yourselves, on what used to be date night, in sweats, watching a Netflix, eating delivery pizza, and drifting off before the end of the movie. Been there. Done that.

Every relationship guru on the planet, including me, recommends that you schedule regular date nights and times for sex. You have to make your relationship a priority or one day you’ll wake up to find it gone. That doesn’t mean you can ignore your relationship the rest of the time. In fact, with just a little imagination you can turn everyday events, such as a trip to the grocery store, into acts of emotional foreplay that enhance intimacy–in and out of the bedroom. How? Let’s take a look.

Grocery shopping is one of those chores you can’t get around. Ya gotta eat!  The trick is getting it done AND using the opportunity to engage in emotional foreplay. Emotional foreplay is doing those things that make your sweetheart feel high-on-a-pedestal adored, always-number-one special, you-deserve-the-best nurtured, and can’t-live-without-you cherished. So here are some ideas for you:

Give the gift of time. If it’s your sweetie who generally does the shopping, offer to do it and give your sweetheart some “me” time. Everyone needs time to recharge their battery. Women, in particular, are not so good at taking time for themselves but everyone, men and women alike, run themselves ragged in today’s busy world. When you give your sweetheart “me” time to recharge, he or she has more energy for everything, including you and your relationship.

Give the gift of yourself.     Do the shopping together, take your time strolling through the aisles and use the time to talk to each other. Couples spend far too little time just being together. Doing something that doesn’t require laser beam focus such as grocery shopping is a great time to just chat.

Give a surprise thinking-of-you gift. Toss your sweetheart’s favorite dessert in the cart. Surprise your sweetie by serving it to him or her in bed and enjoy it together.

Give together time. Buy the ingredients for a meal to cook together. Even better, use a recipe from the book by Martha Hopkins and Randall Lockridge titled Intercourses, An Aphrodisiac Cookbook. It’s a wonderful book full of recipes using 17 sensual foods, aphrodisiac histories, beautiful photographs, and more.

We all have huge demands on our time. When you fail to make your relationship a priority, you will find yourselves growing apart. By engaging in everyday acts of emotional foreplay, you’ll stay connected and that is a darned good thing for your sex life.

In my last post I told you about the time Dale brought me a red-ripe strawberry and how touched I was by that gesture. Now I’m wondering if he had an ulterior motive. Why? I just read that among the things  known to, shall we say, “stoke the fires” is the color red, red as in fully ripened strawberry. Here’s what else I just read:

Certain foods boost that I’d-like-to-jump-your-bones feeling. Like almonds. Who would have guessed?  Arugula, avocado and figs are on the list, too. And chocolate. Now we’re talking. Have I mentioned that Dale does the cooking in our house? I always thought he did it for two reasons: (1) he enjoys it, which is a good thing because (2) if it were up to me to feed us, we’d live on spoonfuls of peanut butter, take out Chinese, and Lean Cuisine. So, last night he fixed a salad of arugula and figs, with avocado on the side, and sprinkled with slivered almonds. For dessert we had dark chocolate cake. Hmmmmm . . . . now I’m thinking maybe there’s a third reason he does the cooking.  Whaddya think?