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Creating Intimacy a Few Minutes at a Time

Friday, July 24th, 2009

Greg Behrendt, comic and co-author of He’s Just Not that Into You, once said to me,

Greg Behrendt

Greg Behrendt

“Being famous is necessary for me to do what I love to do.” He’s right about that. If he weren’t famous, who’d come to his shows? Instead of lining up to buy tickets, people would say, “Greg who?” His comment made me realize that, while it may be dangerous to get between some celebrities and a camera, most celebs are just put-their-pants-on-one-leg-at-a-time people who are famous because it’s necessary for them to do what they do. The reward for fame is often fortune; the price tag is living with constant media and public scrutiny. Talk about pressure! We admire famous couples who maintain perspective and keep it together. Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward immediately come to mind. The flip side: Jon and Kate Gosselin.

Regardless of what you think of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, they seem to be the real deal when it comes to being a couple. I was touched by comments that Brad recently made as reported in People. He described how content he is with his life. Regarding his partner Angelina Jolie, he said, “We make time for ourselves. Its very important for every relationship.” Right you are, Brad.

You may not be famous but you’re busy, busy, busy. It’s easy to let your relationship take a back seat to the job, the kids, the volunteer work, the demands of everyday life, until one day you find yourselves wondering where the love went. The hallmark of a healthy relationship is intimacy—in and out of the bedroom. Here’s an idea for you: At the end of each day, before you turn the lights off, take a few minutes to be together. Really together. No TV. No kids. Touch each other. It doesn’t have to be (but can be!) a sexual touch. Hold hands in silence for a few minutes; you’ll be amazed at how connected you’ll feel. Even better: snuggle and see where it leads!

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