Okay, I’m going to be honest. This is not an entirely original idea. It was inspired by Brenda and Gill, the most clever couple I’ve ever met when it comes to keeping things playful and spicy. For example, they’re fond of having candlelit black tie dinners for two and they each wear nothing but a black tie. They might spend Saturday night in a fiercely fought game of strip poker or bikini Twister. Yep,… Read the rest

There are plenty of so-called truisms out there, all designed to make us “okay” with things that aren’t “okay.” For example, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”  We all know that’s baloney. Words can hurt like hell.

And how about this one: “What you don’t know can’t hurt you.” This truism has been readily debunked by the medical profession. Simply put, if you don’t know your tapioca… Read the rest

It was in grade school math that I first learned about reducing fractions to their lowest common denominator. I hated math. Still do. But, I’ve learned that “reducing to the lowest common denominator” is a great term for describing how, in human interaction, we “sink” to the most basic, least sophisticated level of those with whom we are engaging. If you’ve ever argued with a child, you know what I mean. Before you realize… Read the rest

One of the coolest things about being in a committed relationship is having someone to grow old with, someone with whom you share so many memories that sitting in the rockers on the porch won’t be boring at all, you’ll have so much to talk about.  Equally as cool is how, if you open your mind and heart, your sweetheart can teach you things you might not otherwise ever learn, and can even help… Read the rest

Remember when you and your sweetheart first met? You counted the minutes until you saw him again. You called just to hear her sweet voice. The air was alive with the snap, crackle & pop of sexual energy. You couldn’t get enough of each other and you were always on your best behavior. It was easy to be playful.

Then, you settled into a routine and began to share everyday life. Being on best… Read the rest

Scorekeeping. You’ve been told it’s death to your relationship but I’m going to give you three reasons why, when done right, it’s good for your relationship.

1. It’s a human nature “lemon” so you might as well make lemonade. Mother Teresa and Gandhi aside, we all keep score. It’s human nature to notice if your sweetheart has AGAIN “forgotten” to call, left dirty dishes in the sink, embarrassed you, hurt your feelings, broken a… Read the rest

Do an Amazon search on “self-improvement” or “self-help” and you’ll get a long, long list of books to choose from. There are books on how to have better communication, better sex, more intimacy, fair fights, more fun, less conflict, a more fulfilling life, more self-confidence, more self-esteem, and so on and so on.

What you won’t find is a book based on the premise that you’re perfect but your sweetheart needs a complete overhaul… Read the rest

In 1975 Paul Simon released his hit song “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.”  I recently looked up the lyrics and discovered something I’d failed to notice in 1975 when I was hummin’ along. The song is about a woman giving a man advice on how to extricate himself from his current relationship. The song ends with said woman kissing him and suggesting that they sleep on it, a suggestion which leads him to… Read the rest

“You have more butt than you need, but you have a nice shape.” That’s the closest my hubby Dale has come to criticizing me and to be honest, his comment was merely a verbal observation of fact. I now have more butt than when the comment was made, but he’s never said another word about it. Bless him.

Coupling up bestows permission to say things (e.g., about your sweetie’s butt) that might not otherwise… Read the rest

Have you ever noticed how a good marriage has the attributes of friendship?  Someone’s there to zip your dress, give an opinion about what tie goes with the jacket, fetch aspirin for your headache, and (and this is important!) laugh at your jokes, funny or goofy. Good stuff. But what sustains a marriage and what makes living together on a daily basis, with all the ups and downs, easy and comfortable is Emotional Intimacy. That’s… Read the rest