I think Johnny Depp, this year’s sexiest man alive, is hot. If you’re not convinced, rent What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, one of Johnny’s early movies (also starring a young Leonardo DiCaprio) and feast your eyes on some great Johnny close-ups. I also think Hugh Jackman, last year’s sexiest man alive, is hot. Two hotties. Both married. I don’t know Johnny’s wife and I don’t know Hugh’s wife but I’m pretty sure of one thing:  to those women, these guys are just the men they’re married to, expected to take out the trash, help with the kids, put the groceries away, throw their dirty socks in the hamper, put the toilet seat down, and, well, you get the picture. Just regular guys who People magazine happened to brand “sexiest man alive.”

As I was thumbing through the latest issue of People, feasting my eyes on one hot guy after another, I glanced at my guy who, looking a bit disheveled, chose that very moment to belch. He’s developed a bit of a paunch (just a little one) and his jowls are a bit more pronounced than they were a year ago. He’s no more likely to be People’s sexiest man alive than I am to be on the cover of next year’s Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. But in my world, he is the sexiest man alive. Why? Well, I happen to think he’s a great looking guy, even with a slight paunch and jowls. More importantly, he’s gives great emotional foreplay.

Oprah asked Hugh Jackman if his status got him any leverage at home. He said, “Nope, I’m still expected to take out the trash.” Oprah’s reply: “That’s foreplay.”  She’s right. And my hubby Dale gets it. He takes out the trash. And, he’s kind, he’s generous, he’s supportive, he’s loving. He’s a great partner in every important sense of the word. Does that make him sexy? Yep. And I’ll betcha a buck that if we asked Johnny’s wife and Hugh’s wife, they’d both agree that what makes their guy sexy is not how he looks, but how he plays the role of husband and partner.

It’s fun to look at (maybe even fantasize about) eye candy. But when it comes to slipping between the sheets, I’ll take my sexiest man alive every time.

How ’bout you? Are you the sexiest man/woman alive in your sweetheart’s world?

Greg Behrendt, comic and co-author of He’s Just Not that Into You, once said to me,

Greg Behrendt

“Being famous is necessary for me to do what I love to do.” He’s right about that. If he weren’t famous, who’d come to his shows? Instead of lining up to buy tickets, people would say, “Greg who?” His comment made me realize that, while it may be dangerous to get between some celebrities and a camera, most celebs are just put-their-pants-on-one-leg-at-a-time people who are famous because it’s necessary for them to do what they do. The reward for fame is often fortune; the price tag is living with constant media and public scrutiny. Talk about pressure! We admire famous couples who maintain perspective and keep it together. Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward immediately come to mind. The flip side: Jon and Kate Gosselin.

Regardless of what you think of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, they seem to be the real deal when it comes to being a couple. I was touched by comments that Brad recently made as reported in People. He described how content he is with his life. Regarding his partner Angelina Jolie, he said, “We make time for ourselves. Its very important for every relationship.” Right you are, Brad.

You may not be famous but you’re busy, busy, busy. It’s easy to let your relationship take a back seat to the job, the kids, the volunteer work, the demands of everyday life, until one day you find yourselves wondering where the love went. The hallmark of a healthy relationship is intimacy—in and out of the bedroom. Here’s an idea for you: At the end of each day, before you turn the lights off, take a few minutes to be together. Really together. No TV. No kids. Touch each other. It doesn’t have to be (but can be!) a sexual touch. Hold hands in silence for a few minutes; you’ll be amazed at how connected you’ll feel. Even better: snuggle and see where it leads!