Back when Dale and I were first spending nights together at my home, I gave him the guest bath to use. One morning, as we were getting up to prepare for our day, he asked, “Can we shower at the same time?” I said, “Sure!” and headed off to my shower, hopped in, got the temperature just right, and was ready for sexy, sudsy, morning delight. About the time I… Read the rest
I have years of conflict resolution under my belt. In my prior life, as an estate attorney, I watched families nearly come to blows over who would get the beaten-up old armoire, and I’ve seen others peacefully divide diamonds and fortunes. Those who learned how to handle day-to-day conflicts are definitely better at the really big issues that life inevitably throws at all of us.
Handling conflict with ease is a skill worth developing,… Read the rest
Making a list and checking it twice. Sadly, most of the lists we create aren’t the type that end in a pile of gifts wrapped in silver and gold. When it comes to our relationship, they’re usually honey-do lists, or worse, a long mental list of grudges and annoyances we carry around like a bag of rocks. And to make matters worse, as most of us know, it’s really easy to fall into a… Read the rest
You’ve heard it said that familiarity breeds contempt. Taken literally, that means the better you know someone, the more contempt you’ll feel for that person. I dunno. I know my husband really, really well and I’m not contemptuous of him at all. I think, however, that in a relationship, familiarity can breed boredom and laziness.
Nobody knows for sure what causes the first spark of attraction to fly. What we do know is that… Read the rest
Today is a great day for a last minute play-hooky-date with your sweetie, to hit the snooze button and snuggle under the blanket. Too late? Already at work when you stole the three minutes to read this? Even better. You can plan to “steal” tomorrow and make it special with a little prep that you can do tonight. Time with your honey to do nothing but enjoy each other, even in the silences—well, it… Read the rest
There’s a split among experts about whether the kids or the relationship should come first. Frankly, I think putting your relationship first is putting your kids first. Why? Because if you want your children to grow up and have healthy, well-balanced relationships, a fulfilling sex-life, and a good sense of self, it starts with you setting the example.
It’s a parent’s #1 obligation to teach their children how to be happy, well-balanced, confident adults… Read the rest
Dating. That magic combination of time well spent, shared activity, and head-over-heels companionship with someone you genuinely adore being with. Remember that experience? I’ve been writing about dating lately. Why? Because it works! But, I realize that you’ve only been getting my thoughts and musings on the perfect Saturday-night soiree or TGIF excursion. So I’ve asked others to share their BEST date stories with me. If you’d like to participate in that discussion, connect… Read the rest
The enemy of a great relationship is complacency. It begins so innocently. You forget how attractive, funny or caring your honey is because you’re together all the time. You get wrapped up in your “stuff” and forget to do the little, day-to-day things that make your sweetheart aware of your love. You forget how good life feels because you picked someone amazing and the lottery win of being picked back. Before you know… Read the rest
I’ve been thinking a lot about dating and how a relationship is so ooh-la-la hot those first few months we’re in them. You know what I mean, that can’t-live-without-you-another-second obsession and the please-stop-talking-and-kiss-me passion. Recent research says that some of those reactions are totally beyond our control. We call it chemistry. Like our heartbeat, simply existing without our input, there’s a release of hormones that create the “falling” in love sensation. Okay, maybe we… Read the rest
I recently met a friend for coffee. She shared that she’d been mad at her husband for a year. A year??? Wow. It made me sad to think someone could be angry for so long and it also made me think about kissing and making up. All couples have arguments. Hubby Dale and I are no exception. We get irritated with each other but it doesn’t last long. We enjoy each… Read the rest
© Copyright 2011 Frequent Foreplay Miles - Shela Dean — Relationship Coach, Speaker & Best-Selling Author